Honesty.

Candy hearts photo

(Warning: discussion of disordered eating in this post.) It’s said by many professionals that eating disorders thrive on secrecy. So, it’s in my best interest to be honest. I’m a binge eater.

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Warning: Real Talk.

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. It figures that I decided to ramp up my fashion blogging again and then stop. Seems like that’s par for the course with me and blogs, haha. There’s a pretty serious reason for it, though. We found out just a few days after my last post that Doug is going to be losing his job. The business that he works at is closing its doors. There are a TON of other factors about the business closing that I don’t want to go into detail about in public, but let’s just say that it took us both by surprise. Doug losing his job is not a new thing for us. We’ve been here before more than once. This time it’s WAY different because of my health issues. The last time, I didn’t know I was diabetic or that I had Hashimoto’s. Now I take […]

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I’m so disappointed in you, Tim.

Give this article a looksee: Tim Gunn: Designers refuse to make clothes to fit American women. It’s a disgrace. Here’s a few quotes that stood out to me: This is a design failure and not a customer issue. There is no reason larger women can’t look just as fabulous as all other women. The key is the harmonious balance of silhouette, proportion and fit, regardless of size or shape. Designs need to be reconceived, not just sized up; it’s a matter of adjusting proportions. The textile changes, every seam changes. YAS LAWD.  Go Tim Gunn!  I love the fact that someone that is so ingrained in the general public’s mind as a fashion icon speaks so candidly about how fashion designers are ignoring plus-sized women such as myself.  We want to be fashionable.  We want to wear clothing that makes us feel awesome. However, Tim, you disappoint me when the […]

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(Warning: body talk.) I’ve been really struggling with my body over the past week. Haha, go figure considering I just posted about a positive body image, right?  Oh, the yo-yos of my self-esteem. I’ve gained a few pounds and I can totally tell – my dresses don’t fit quite right and I just feel “blah”. Part of it is because I’ve been stressed so I’ve been eating a lot more than I should, part of that is because I am so tired when I get home that I don’t want to get on the recumbent bike. Add those together and you have a recipe for “blah”. I got a dress in today. It fits – with shapewear – but the thing that bugs me is that the lovely banded waist doesn’t sit nice and flat on me. Because of my high round belly, it scrunches up under my boobs and […]

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Thanks, Trashy Diva.

There are very few pictures of me that other people take that I like. When other people take a picture of me, I pick the entire image apart, focusing on what I don’t like about myself. My double chin is too noticeable. My arms are lumpy and too big. My stomach sticks out. My eyes are so squinty. My hair is too frizzy. My face looks shiny. My legs are really lumpy. …and on, and on, and on. Over and over, all of the body positivity that I’ve worked toward is knocked down, bit by bit, until I end up hating myself. I’ve even had some wedding photos that I disliked, although there are a few cosplay photos that I was okay with. However, this mindset has gone through a major change in the past few months, and it’s mostly due to Trashy Diva. Trashy Diva is one of my absolute favorite clothing brands.  What […]

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Love thyself, pt. 1 – Move thyself.

OH EM GEE you should totally work out, it helps with stress and helps you feel better and lose weight and blah blah blah If any of you know me in person, you know I HATE cardio workouts. I feel like my entire body is jiggling in unattractive ways. Like running…I don’t care how long I go, I never hit that “runners high” that I always hear about. I’m too concerned about my belly and boobs and thighs flopping all over the place. I see these lithe runners, ponytails bopping up and down, smiles on their faces with that “glowing healthy sweat” and I’m like HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT. I chalk it up to good genes. I do love working out with weights. I just want to go in a gym and make my way through the weight lifting machines and then go home. I used to […]

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Love Thyself.

Things have been going well lately. So why am I stressed, anxious, and all-around frustrated with everything? I sat in the doctor’s office the other day texting my good friend C – I was stressing out because I knew he was going to fuss at me about my weight, and I needed someone to keep me calm. She asked me why I was so anxious about everything, and when I thought about it, I realized I didn’t know. I talked to Doug about it when I got home, and he asked me the same question. I had the same response. I DON’T KNOW. There is nothing in my life that should be stressing me out right now. My job is fantastic, my diabetes is under control, our finances are looking up, we have food and a roof over our heads, family that loves us, and friends beyond measure. So again – […]

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