(Warning: body talk.) I’ve been really struggling with my body over the past week. Haha, go figure considering I just posted about a positive body image, right?  Oh, the yo-yos of my self-esteem.

I’ve gained a few pounds and I can totally tell – my dresses don’t fit quite right and I just feel “blah”. Part of it is because I’ve been stressed so I’ve been eating a lot more than I should, part of that is because I am so tired when I get home that I don’t want to get on the recumbent bike. Add those together and you have a recipe for “blah”.

I got a dress in today. It fits – with shapewear – but the thing that bugs me is that the lovely banded waist doesn’t sit nice and flat on me. Because of my high round belly, it scrunches up under my boobs and looks weird. And of course this sends me into a spiral of thoughts about my body.

Why does my belly have to be so round? Why can’t I be shaped differently?

Are my boobs low?  Why are they low?  I’m wearing a good bra. 

My bra band is tight.  Have I gained that much weight?  Ugh, I can’t afford new bras, or new dresses, or new clothes. 

I just want my belly to go away.  I don’t look like those standard plus size models.  I’m lumpy and weird. 

Ugh, why do I even try to dress nice? I just look like a slob.

The list of negative thoughts goes on and on. And they don’t stop.  Even now, after I’ve tried that dress on and posted about it online asking if the dress does that on other women, I still feel…gross.

You know what?  I’m going to try it on again tomorrow.  And if that dress is definitely a no-go, I’m gonna sell it and get some money back. One dress does not define who I am.

Right?

You may also like

7 Comments

  1. No dress ever defines you. You have an amazing brain and vivacious personality that define you. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling blah. Sometimes we just have to wait out the low-energy/high-stress rut until we can shake it loose and get moving again. I hope that happens for you soon–and that this long weekend helped.

    1. Hey Darlene! For some reason WP shuffled your comment to the spam folder and I didn’t see it until now – sorry! Thanks for commenting. Yeah, the long weekend did help, along with a good time out with my Mom on Sunday.

  2. You are right. No dress ever defines you!!! I’m sorry you’re feeling stressed and tired lately. I hope this long weekend has refreshed you. Sometimes we get stuck in a low-energy rut, and we just have to ride it out until we can finally shake it loose.

  3. Same with me. Factor in the heat plus my brace! I had a rant this morning about it-full blown! But, remember that the state of today won’t always be that way. Cooler weather will come, we will feel more energetic and feel like going outside and working out. Chill in the a/c today, we will go to Trashy Diva tomorrow, St. James & all will be better!

  4. A very scary health scare ( I am okay ) this summer has completely changed my life. Now I’m juggling a new medication and all the stuff that goes along with that, and new habits I need to lock into my routine – it’s really exhausting. And it’s like now I have to walk 5 miles a day, and I have been for a month now, and while my aim isn’t necessarily to lose weight – you make all these big changes and you’d expect to see *something* happening in that area. Its just very discouraging.

    1. I hate Very Scary Health Scares. Mine was back in 2014 and it still freaks me out that I went through that. I am VERY glad that you are okay.

      I know that feeling well! As much as my doctors have told me to “lose weight to get rid of your health issues”, I’ve lost 50+ pounds and no changes. It’s really frustrating. I know things will change one day, though!