I’ve gained a few pounds and I can totally tell – my dresses don’t fit quite right and I just feel “blah”. Part of it is because I’ve been stressed so I’ve been eating a lot more than I should, part of that is because I am so tired when I get home that I don’t want to get on the recumbent bike. Add those together and you have a recipe for “blah”.
I got a dress in today. It fits – with shapewear – but the thing that bugs me is that the lovely banded waist doesn’t sit nice and flat on me. Because of my high round belly, it scrunches up under my boobs and looks weird. And of course this sends me into a spiral of thoughts about my body.
Why does my belly have to be so round? Why can’t I be shaped differently?
Are my boobs low? Why are they low? I’m wearing a good bra.
My bra band is tight. Have I gained that much weight? Ugh, I can’t afford new bras, or new dresses, or new clothes.
I just want my belly to go away. I don’t look like those standard plus size models. I’m lumpy and weird.
Ugh, why do I even try to dress nice? I just look like a slob.
The list of negative thoughts goes on and on. And they don’t stop. Even now, after I’ve tried that dress on and posted about it online asking if the dress does that on other women, I still feel…gross.
You know what? I’m going to try it on again tomorrow. And if that dress is definitely a no-go, I’m gonna sell it and get some money back. One dress does not define who I am.